Freddy Versus Jason Versus the Skeleton Key
by Gothenheim.J
Summary: Freddy Krueger goes to New Orleans to eat the soul of the powerful HooDoo magus Papa Justify, but Papa Justify has plans of his own... plans that involve Jason Vorhees! But Jason has plans of his own... plans that involve his machete!
1. Chapter 1

Legal stuff e.e

Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees copyright paramount or something

Candyman and Pinhead and the Skeleton Key and Papa Justify and Mama Cecile too I guess

PROLOGUE

Freddy Krueger tapped the edge of his razor knives against his skeleton "hmm," he mused "I need more power! More power! Or otherwise I won't be able to scare the kitties enough to kill them." 

Freddy had been trying to kill kids for weeks now. After his fight with Jason Voorhees he had a lot taken out of him and no one believed in him anymore. He would go into their dreams and chase them through a boiler room and corner them and say something like "WELCOME TO MY WORLD BITCH!" or "TIME'S UP BITCH" or "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT BITCH" or "I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED, BITCH!" and then he would skewer them with his Wolverine claw but nothing ever happened.

He was sad and insecure in himself until he heard about HooDoo in Louisiana. Now Hoo Doo isn't like Voo Doo because Voodoo is a religion but Hoo Doo is just magic and you have to believe in it for it to work.

So Freddy went down to New Orleans to try and eat Papa Justify's soul because Papa Justify was the most powerful Hoo Doo ghost who ever lived. If he had that Hoo Doo power he could kill so many kids that he would put Jason to shame! They were having a body count contest like Legless and Grimly in Lord of the Rings (one time Jason shiskabobbed a whole line of teenagers with his machete and Freddy said all mad at him "THAT STILL ONLY COUNTS AS ONE!")

CHAPTER 1

Papa Justify woke from a long slumber in the body of the white man he was living in.  
"YAAAAWWWN!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, then looked over at his beautiful wife.  
From looking at her someone might think she is Kate Hudson but in fact she is Mama Cecile, a black woman like himself, but in the body of Kate Hudson because she took it over with Hoo Doo.  
"Evening honey bear!" he chirruped and swung his legs over the bed.

Suddenly Mama Cecile started twitching.  
She caught on fire!  
Blood sprayed out of her like a fountain and Freddy Krueger's face appeared in the middle of the blood. "LOOKS LIKE IT'S HER TIME OF THE MONTH!" Freddy Krueger said horribly and laughing.  
"Mama Cecile, noooooo!" Papa Justify howled and then he woke up for real.

"What's wrong" Mama Cecile asked him. A powerful spirit is trying to take us over Papa Justify explained.  
"No one will beat us at our own game!" he growled angrily, "It's time we resurrected Jason Voorhees so he can protect us.  
"It's a good thing Jason believes in Hoo Doo otherwise this would never work." Mama Cecile said.  
"Yes, it is a good thing Jason believes in Hoo Doo" rejoindered Papa Justify.

Papa Justify drew a circle of chalk and put candles around it and began singing a stupid song.  
He put a mirror in the circle and then suddenly a familiar hockey mask appeared in it.  
"JASON VORHEES!" Papa Justify commanded "I COMMAND YOU!"  
"KILL FREDDY KREUGER!"

The vision disappeared and Papa Justify smiled. 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Deep in the bayou of New Orleans Swamp a bubble rose to the surface of the Swamp.  
From deep within the bubbling crude a great machete rose silently from the water with a splash.  
The machete was slathered in guts and gore which bespoke its terrible lineage.  
Then came the head with the hockey mask. Jason Voorhees lived again!  
But where was he?  
This was not Camp Crystal Lake! What magic had transported him here?

He heard a voice in his head "JASON I COMMAND YOU, FIND FREDDY KREUGER AND KILL HIM!" but he ignored it easily. "I will follow the voice" he thought "and kill whomever has disturbed my long slumber!"

Suddenly the noises he hated the worst in the world distracted his thought. The giggling of girls, and the happy shouts of young men.

He looked over across the Bayou, and there was a series of tents. It was the biggest rave in New Orleans. Until JASON VORHEES paid it a visit.

---

"Mmmm, you feel so good inside me" Jenny said as Brad lifted and seperated her sweaty legs and smashed his pelvis into hers.  
"I really like the way your resistence gets me hard" Brad complimented Jenny as she unclasped her bra and swung it over her head.  
It landed on the shoulder of a man standing behind her! A man in a hockey mask!  
Wielding a machete a machete!  
Jenny started to go down on Brad and as she slurped she heard a whistling noise and then SHUNK! Brad's blood poured down on her head in torrents. She screamed and looked up just in time to see Jason's hand clasp around her temples and squeeze them together so that her brains squished through his grimy fingers. Her body quivered and she let out a huge fart as her bowels loosened before Jason threw her down on top of Brad's headless corpse.

The next person to go was Micky the nerd. Micky was standing outside the tent moping because he wanted to fuck Jenny but Brad was fucking her instead. He was playing with his lightstick all unaware that he would never taste the sweetness of her juices, that his love had already been brutally slaughtered by JASON VORHEES!  
He threw the lightstick up in the air, and a zombie hand grabbed it. "Hey, what are you--" he started to say but JASON VORHEES was the one who had grabbed it, and JASON HATES LIGHTSTICKS!  
Jason SMASHED the lightstick into Micky's face and used it as a lever to rip off the top of his skull, which sent arcs of blood careening through the air as it toppled over and over while Micky's body slumped down.  
The skull landed on a fat girl who started squealing like the little pig she was when she tripped and fell into a keg of alcohol. Taking advantage of the situation Jason swung his sword on an iron pole near her which made sparks that ignited her and SHE EXPLODED covering everyone with her huge guts and a thick layer of white fat.

Everyone tried to run but the ground was made muddy by fatty mcwhalerson's blood and guts so they tripped and then Jason skewered five girls at once with his machete. He flicked up his great big knife and the blood on it shot out so fast at some kid that his eyes were knocked into the back of his skull.

One football player smashed Jason on the head with a broom which was not a smart idea because Jason ripped his arm straight down the middle and then punched a hole straight through his chest.

Jason performed a roundhouse kick that straight up decapitated some dude who fell onto his girlfriend trapping her as everyone ran over his body, and from the way she was vomiting blood you could tell she was pretty fucked after that.

Jason was pissed off and threw his machete at the people running away. It caught this one guy square in the back of the head so that, like, his brains just fucking ROCKETED out and spiraled out of control in the air just spraying blood like oh man so fucking awesome.

Jason wrenched his machete from out of the dude's skull and then went on a punching rampage, he punched a girl's face in so bad that you couldn't even tell it was supposed to be her head it was just like liquid or something fuck.  
Then he grabbed another girl by the neck and lifted her up and slammed her down on a fencepost so that she got impaled by it, which just sent this huge wave of blood over Jason's face and oh man it was so badass.

The slaughter continued on into the night and by the time he was done there was no one left alive. Or so he thought.

In what would be the biggest embarrassment of Jason's career he missed two teenagers out of the whole bunch because they were having sex in the OTHER tent while all this shit went down, which is pretty ironic when you think about it.

Their names were Amanda and Brian and they will become main characters later on I think I dunno.

Jason, satisfied that no one was having fun any more, slathered up his machete in a bunch of gore to keep it scary and then tramped off to where the source of the magic was.  
He would kill whoever called him from beyond the grave.

Papa Justify however was making plans of his own! 


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Jason Voorhees reached the source of the magic, it was a mansion in Louisiana.  
Papa Justify was waiting for him.

"SO MY SLAVE!" the Hoo Doo Master screeched "YOU REFUSE TO DO MY BIDDING IS THAT SO! WELL I WILL MAKE YOU DO IT WITH THE POWER OF HOO DOO IN WHICH YOU BELIEVE OTHERWISE IT WON'T WORK!" and Papa Justify sprinkled brick dust in front of him for protection because if you believe in Hoo Doo and you're bad you can't walk over brick dust that's how Hoo Doo works.

Mama Cecile rolled out a mirror and put it in front of Jason and drew a magic circle in chalk around it then Papa Justify started to sing.

Suddenly for the first time since he drowned Jason Voorhees started to talk.

He laughed a low laugh from behind his mask "YOU FOOL!" he groaned "I AM A GREAT HOO DOO PRIEST MYSELF AND I AM UNIMPRESSED WITH THESE PARLOR TRICKS" so saying he smashed the line of brick dust with his machete. Papa Justify looked on amazed and Mama Cecile nearly fainted!

"NOW LET US DO BATTLE AND WE SHALL SEE WHO SERVES WHOM WHEN THIS DAY IS DONE!"

"Yes, let us do battle" said Papa Justify "In the mirror dimension where my power is greatest!" and he stamped his foot on the circle of chalk and yelled "JUMBALYA!" which dragged the whole house into the mirror dimension. 

Now even the great Hoo Doo priest Jason Voorhees was surprised by this because he had never been in a mirror dimension before.

Jason swung his machete at Papa Justify and sliced him right down the middle, but then he heard a laugh coming from behind him.

"YOU FOOL THAT WAS MERELY MY SHADOW!" Papa Justify screamed and then caught Jason in a magical net made of ectoplasm.

"We are ghosts, Jason, ghosts!" exulted Mama Cecile triumphantly, and brandished a knife. She advanced on the subdued Jason and started carving a Hoo Doo sigil into his chest that would make him listen to them but his great power disrupted the magic of the net.

Jason broke out of his bonds and clamped his arm around Mama Cecile's neck. Slowly he murmured an incantation that rendered her flesh and bone, then he tore out her jugular vein with one swift motion, spraying blood all in his face and all over his clothes while Papa Justify screamed in agony and disbelief.

Jason lifted the body high and then punched through its abdomen with his other hand, tearing out Mama Cecile's intestines, and he looped them around her head and hung her out to dry before picking up his machete and pulverizing her like a piñata.

"No! My darling wife!" said Papa Justify "I wanted to keep you safe that is why I resurrected Jason Voorhees now look what happened! I was such a fool! When will mankind learn that it can't control its own weapons, when will mankind learn!" then Papa Justify became resolute and stared down Jason who returned the favor. Their battle had just begun.

---

Meanwhile Amanda and Brian woke up after their post coitus sleepiness to find the rave was a real big mess. Bodies were everywhere and they screamed and screamed.  
They leaned over one girl who was barely alive and about to die. "Who did this?" they asked her "JASON VORHEES IT WAS JASON VORHEES" the girl said then gave up the ghost.  
Amanda started shaking. "JASON VORHEES!" she yelled. "Jason Voorhees." Brain said thoughtfully.  
"We'll get him!" he yelled and kicked a stray skull lying around in anger.  
"Wait a minute," Amanda said "Jason Voorhees died by water... so that means he must be weak against lightning. How can we use that...?"

"There's an old Frankenstein-making machine in the creepy mansion in the swamp!" Brian said enthusiastically. We could use that!  
So Amanda and Brian came to the Hoo Doo mansion. Jason and Papa Justify were still in the mirror dimension so they didn't see them, and they were looking around.

"I found a locked door! This probably leads to the Frankenstein-making machine!" said Amanda.  
"But we need a **_SKELETON KEY_** to open it." grumbled Brian.

"Well let's just sleep on it okay"

So they went to sleep.

---

Now Freddy Krueger was still in the house and was really confused about what was going on. "WHERE HAS PAPA JUSTIFY GONE, I NEED HIS MAGIC!" said Freddy Krueger. Then when the kids went to sleep he felt an alarm go off in his fear detector.

"Hmm, interesting!" he grinned as he tapped the edge of his burned chin with his razor claws. "Some kids are asleep and I bet I could kill them, because they're afraid!" So he entered Amanda and Brian's dream.

They were dreaming about the nightmare rave they just survived. 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4  
THE RAVE REVISITED

"Mmmm, you feel so good inside me" Jenny said as Brad lifted and seperated her sweaty legs and smashed his pelvis into hers.  
"I really like the way your resistence gets me hard" Brad complimented Jenny as she unclasped her bra and swung it over her head.

Jenny started to go down on Brad and as she slurped she heard a horrible laugh. She withdrew and stared aghast at Brad's ding-dong, which was now Freddy Krueger's head.

"AH AH!" Freddy Krueger Penis said, "NO TEETH, BITCH!"

The room went black, and the next thing she knew, Jenny now found herself in a gigantic Freddy Krueger mouth. She shivered in terror and screamed as the mouth closed. Freddy's sandpaper tongue lolled about and started ripping at her exposed skin. She was bleeding profusely when Freddy swallowed her, and her screams disappeared into the void of his esophagus.

"AAAHHH!!! I LOVE SOUL FOOD!" Freddy smiled.

The next person to go was Micky the nerd. Micky was standing outside the tent moping because he wanted to fuck Jenny but Brad was fucking her instead. He was playing with his lightstick all unaware that he would never taste the sweetness of her juices, that his love had already been brutally slaughtered by FREDDY KREUGER!

He threw the lightstick up in the air, and a burnt zombie hand grabbed it. "Hey, what are you--" he started to say but FREDDY KREUGER was the one who had grabbed it, and FREDDY LOVES LIGHTSTICKS!

Freddy started dancing with the lightstick, rubbing himself all over like someone who'd taken a hit of ecstasy.  
"MICKY YOU LITTLE MEATBALL!" Freddy murmured diabolically. "YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP UP YOUR WATER INTAKE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"

Freddy's glove changed into a funnel that he forced into Micky's mouth. Micky tried to run but his feet were stuck in the ground! Freddy lifted an endless jug of water and poured it into Micky's mouth, and Micky grew fatter and fatter! His clothes ripped! THEN HIS SKIN RIPPED! Micky EXPLODED from all the water, covering everyone with his guts and thick layer of white fat, as well as a torrent of water!

Everyone tried to run but the ground was made muddy by Micky's blood and guts and the water so they tripped and then Freddy turned the mud into sulfuric acid which ate away all their skin. He flicked his gloved hand toward some kid and set him on fire, and as he ran around screaming horribly, Freddy bonked him on the head with an oversized mallet and knocked his brains out.

One football player smashed Freddy on the head with a broom which was not a smart idea because Freddy turned the broom into a snake with Freddy's head that coiled around the football player and crushed him to death before swallowing the corpse whole.

"THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS! AAAAA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" Freddy Krueger Snake said.

Freddy swung his knives so hard that he straight up decapitated some dude who fell onto his girlfriend trapping her as everyone ran over his body, and from the way she was vomiting blood you could tell she was pretty fucked after that.

Freddy was having so much fun that he turned into a fighter jet and fired a missile at the people running away. "BOGEY AT 12 O'CLOCK!" Freddy Fighter Jet said. The missile spiraled out of control in the air and exploded over a group of teenagers, setting them all on fire. Freddy now appeared to them as a fireman and sprayed milk onto them, so much milk that it made a lake of milk! Wait! A lake of milk? They were in a cereal bowl! And Freddy was eating them!

"FIGHTING AGAINST THE SOGGIES!" Freddy Krueger said as he lifted the spoon to his mouth and ate a spoonful of teenagers, CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH.

Suddenly Freddy stopped.  
"What the hell, why aren't I getting any stronger from killing all these kids?" Freddy said.  
Then he had a vision. He saw Jason Voorhees killing them!  
So they were already dead!  
He was just killing dream versions of them!

FREDDY WAS TOTALLY FUCKING PISSED!  
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!" he screamed, "YOU STOLE MY KILLS AGAIN DAMN IT! YOU ASSHOLE!" 

Then he said "NO MORE GAMES!" and stripped away the dreamscape, replacing it with his boiler room. Amanda and Brian appeared before him, trembling in fear. "WELCOME TO MY WORLD, BITCH!" Freddy howled.

Amanda screamed and ran away but Brian tried to fight him. Normally Freddy would have killed him in a creative way but he was seriously pissed off, so he just snarled and stabbed Brian in the chest with his glove hand, then slashed it downward, opening up his stomach and spilling his intestines on the floor, which also happened in the real world by the way. Freddy savored Brian's soul but couldn't get the gumption up to make a pun about the situation.

"WHERE IS JASON VORHEES!" he screamed in anger, "WHERE IS PAPA JUSTIFY!" and he went chasing after Amanda.

---

Amanda ran through the dream corridors of the dream house she was in and Freddy Krueger was chasing her. Amanda ran into a bedroom and tried to get out of the window when Freddy caught up with her.  
He grabbed her by the hair and smashed her down onto the floor as she whimpered for her life when WHAT'S THIS, Freddy's glove went SKITCH as he raised it, not to kill Amanda but in surprise. There was a mirror on the wall and in that mirror he saw Jason Voorhees and Papa Justify, the battling Hoo Doo priests.

"So they're in the mirror dimension! I can go there, because it's sort of like a dream dimension!" he explained to himself.

He shot a menacing look at Amanda. "I'll be seeing you soon enough, bitch!" he cackled and then dove head-first into the mirror dimension.

Amanda woke up in a cold sweat and immediately tripped face-first into Brian's steaming intestines. 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

THE MIRROR KING OF DIMENSIONS

Freddy looked around him and he was in the mirror dimension.

"Hmm! What a creepy place! AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" he murmured to himself.  
"Now I've got to find where Jason Voorhees and Papa Justify are fighting so I can kill them both and EAT THEIR POWERS!" and he continued on his way into the mirror dimension.

---

"PALE KABBALA!" Jason Voorhees yelled his ultimate attack, swinging his machete around in the air as a glowing mantra appeared around him. He slammed the machete into the ground and a white shockwave raced toward Papa Justify, who avoided it by phasing out of the mirror dimension and then phasing back in.

"YOU HAVE ADAPTED WELL TO THE ADDITIONAL POWERS THE MIRROR DIMENSION GRANTS TO HOO DOO!" Papa Justify said "But I am far more experienced in its powers than you! It was I who discovered the mirror dimension and, through the power of Hoo Doo, trapped a great and powerful magical soul within it! It is from this soul that I take my own powers! And now you will feel those powers! All through your body! A HA HAHAHAHAHAHA!" and he raised his arms. "HONEYSUCKLE MIDNIGHT OF THE BURNING MOON! SWEET AS CANDY!"

Gobs of honey, enough to drown a man, fell from a rift in space-time and covered the confused Jason Voorhees. Jason looked around scared but he was covered in honey so he didn't see much, he only heard a buzzing as AN IMPENETRABLE CLOUD OF BEES CAME OUT OF THE RIFT AND SETTLED ONTO HIS BODY, stabbing it with their stingers and biting at it. Jason Voorhees looked like a man made of bees! But still he would not die. Papa Justify looked on aghast as Jason tromped toward him, covered in bees. He looked like a man made of bees!

Jason picked a bee from off of his arm and threw it at Papa Justify. The bee shot out like a shuriken from a master ninja's hand and stabbed Papa Justify in the heart. "IM-IMPOSSIBLE!" Papa Justify exclaimed and fell to the ground. Jason murmured a Hoo Doo incantation and set himself on fire, burning all the bees as well.

"No! No!" Papa Justify yelled as Jason raised him off the ground. Then, just as Jason was about to smash his head in---

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!"

Freddy Krueger sliced off Jason's arm in one swipe of his knives. Jason reeled back, shocked, as his arm grew back (he is like a lizard). Freddy Krueger wagged a metallic finger at Jason "Can't let you do that, big boy!" he exulted, "you've already stolen enough kills from me, what's more, that Hoo Doo priest is MINE!" Freddy Krueger leapt forward and stabbed Jason's eyes out, which erupted in a jet stream of blood shooting out of his hockey mask's holes and spraying Freddy in the face "AAAAUGH!" Freddy said, disgusted. Then Jason slapped him in the face.

Papa Justify bemoaned the state of affairs. "I was wrong!" he said "Wrong to bring Jason Voorhees back to life! Mama Cecile is dead and now I too will die, but I will not die unavenged." and he left the mirror dimension.

"HUH! WHERE'D HE GO! NOOOOOO!!!!" Freddy Krueger screamed as Jason Voorhees punched him in the back of the skull. "OW!" Freddy said.  
"Jason, time out for one second." he said and then Jason stopped because he too wondered where Papa Justify had gone.

"Look I know we haven't been the best of friends" --Jason nodded-- "but with Justify gone I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some crappy mirror dimension!" --Jason beat his chest in agreement-- "so let's you and me work together, at least until we find a way out of here!" Jason smiled and shook Freddy's hand.

---

Meanwhile Amanda was wandering around the house trying to find the skeleton key. "I can't believe they killed my boyfriend!" she said "This sucks! Not only Jason Voorhees but Freddy Krueger I have to deal with, what!"  
She came across a mirror and looked at it, cause it looked funny. It was glowing. A black man appeared in the mirror. "AMANDA" he said "OH MY GOD" she said "AMANDA" he said "WHAT IS IT" she said "I AM PAPA JUSTIFY" he said "PAPA JUSTIFY?" she said "THERE IS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN" he said "OKAY" she said "YOU MUST STOP JASON VORHEES AND FREDDY KREUGER" he said "TO DO THIS YOU NEED A SKELETON KEY. THE SKELETON KEY IS THE SYMBOL OF MY POWER. I WILL BECOME YOUR SKELETON KEY. RIGHT THE WRONGS I HAVE DONE."

And saying this, he emerged out of the mirror and a white light began to surround him as he turned into a key.

BUT WAIT!

Suddenly before he could turn into a key, a hooked hand BURST through his chest showering the screaming Amanda with his blood.

"Papa Justify!" a deep pleasant baritone voice said "You have grown weak! And your hold on me is at an end! For too long I have served as the source of your power in the mirror dimension! Now your powers are mine! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And Papa Justify's corpse dissolved into light particles that went back into the mirror. The particles formed a key, and then the key was replaced by a big strong black man wearing a coat, and with a hooked hand. The smell of honey filled the air. "finally, I am free!" Candyman said.

"NO! NOT CANDYMAN NOW!" said Amanda. "Candyman, I need that key please"  
"I WILL GIVE YOU THIS KEY IF YOU CAN BEAT ME." Candyman said. "I will give you three trials. If you overcome them, you can have this key. If you do not, then I will kill you." Amanda gulped "GULP!" and entered the mirror dimension with Candyman. 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6 THE TRIALS OF CANDY MAN

With a WOOSH the dimensional portal opened and Amanda gasped she was in the mirror dimension  
"So this is where Candyman lives" she said "YES!" Candyman said and said "NOW BEGIN THE TRIALS"and he disappeared.

THE FIRST TRIAL

"AMANDA!" Candyman said "THE FIRST TRIAL IS BEGINNING YOU HAVE TO PASS THIS TEST TO PROVE TO ME THAT YOU TRULY DESIRE THE SKELETON KEY"

Amanda blacked out and when she woke up she was back at the Rave.

"Mmmm, you feel so good inside me" Jenny said as Brad lifted and seperated her sweaty legs and smashed his pelvis into hers.  
"I really like the way your resistence gets me hard" Brad complimented Jenny as she unclasped her bra and swung it over her head.  
It landed on the shoulder of a man standing behind her! A black man with a hook hand!  
Jenny started to go down on Brad and as she slurped she heard a whistling noise and then SHUNK! Brad's blood poured down on her head in torrents. She screamed and looked up just in time to see Candyman's hand clasp around her temples and squeeze them together so that her brains squished through his grimy fingers. Her body quivered and she let out a huge fart as her bowels loosened before Candyman threw her down on top of Brad's headless corpse.

"NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!" Amanda screamed.

"What are you doing we're fucking let's get back to fucking please I want to fuck you" her boyfriend said "NO WE HAVE TO STOP THE MASSACRE THAT IS GOING ON." and she ran out of the tent.

She caught up to Candyman just as he was eviscerating Micky the nerd.  
"Candyman!" she screamed "What is your trial I desire the Skeleton Key enough of these games! I won't let you kill these people again they've already been killed by Jason and Freddy lay off won't ya" and Candyman smiled.

"Amanda! he smiled "you passed the first test! If you failed you would have just stayed back and made love to your boyfriend like in real life but instead you confronted me, that's good it shows you have COURAGE."

So saying a light appeared in the Skeleton Key in his hand.

NOW BEGINS THE SECOND TRIAL

Amanda found herself in a plain white room and there was a box in the middle  
so what did she do but she went and started fiddling around with it   
then the box began to go WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR and different parts of it raised up and locked into place.

"OH NO IT'S THE BOX FROM HELLRAISER!" Amanda said but she was too late and Pinhead was there. "Amanda" Pinhead said "I HAVE SUCH PAIN TO SHOW YOU!"

and then a bunch of chains rocketed out of the ground and stabbed Amanda's flesh and Pinhead walked slowly around her as she was suspended in midair "WHAT FLESH YOU HAVE AND I WILL INFLICT PAIN ON IT OR SHOULD I SAY PLEASURE" Pinhead leered at Amanda, hid beady black eyes glistening in the blue toned hell they now inhabited.

"What is this, Candyman" she thought to herself "some kind of trick?"  
"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR KINKY SHIT" she yelled at Pyramid Head and then she kicked him in the balls, which made all the chains go away. "YES! THAT IS THE PLEASURE I WANT!" screamed Pinhead in ecstasy "HURT ME MORE!" and Amanda slapped him across the face then pulled him by the ear and shoved him into the gaping maw of hell, then she went and kicked the box in after him. She heard Candyman clapping behind her.

"YOU HAVE PASSED THE SECOND TRIAL AMANDA" Candyman said smiling, "You have shown me that you possess POWER." and a second light on the skeleton key lit up. "Now the third trial"

THE THIRD TRIAL COMMENCES

Amanda found herself standing alone with Candyman "What is the third trial" she asked

"The third trial is" he said "you have to answer this question: what is it that I want the most? Me, Candyman, give me what I want the most."

Amanda was stumped how the fuck was she supposed to know what he wanted  
She looked at him, his big black broad shoulders, his handsomely chiseled face his big hook and she thought about it.

"TIME IS RUNNING OUT MY DEAR AND IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF I HAD TO -PENETRATE- YOU." he said with a wink as he raised his hook hand

then she remembered what every black man wants the most

She slid up to him and started sucking gently on his ear. "Yeah baby" Candyman said "That's it."   
She took off his coat and pants and he cut hers off with his hook hand and then he ground into her so hard that she felt like a hammer was pounding her pants "OW she said" "SHUT UP AND TAKE IT WHITE WOMAN" he growled at her and bit her tongue so that it bled.As they lay there in the sweaty afterglow he said "How did you know? My origins are that I was eaten by bees because I had sex with a white woman, so I love white women, that's what I want the most." Amanda blushed and didn't say anything.  
"Well whatever" Candyman said "You passed the third test and proved to me that you have WISDOM." the third and final light on the key shone and he passed it to her.

"Use it well fair Amanda" Candyman said and opened the portal to the real world.

"SO! THAT'S THE WAY OUT, EH!" IT WAS FREDDY KREUGER AND JASON VORHEES

"Amanda" Candyman said "go on get out of here, don't worry about me I'll show them they're messing with the wrong guy here! JUST GO!" and Amanda escaped through the portal.

Candyman glared at the two monsters "I don't know who you are, but this is MY WORLD!"

Freddy sneared and raised up his gloved hand "Welcome to MY WORLD, bitch!"  
Jason leveled his machete at Candyman.

THEN A BATTLE BROKE OUT

Freddy screamed and ran up to Candyman who teleported behind him and impaled him with his hook hand. Freddy wagged his finger at Candyman and turned into a liquid mass that reformed as a fully healed Freddy "WAAAAAH AHAHAHHAHAHA!" Freddy snickered.

"What sort of devil are you!" Candyman said and then opened his mouth so that a bunch of bees shot out.  
"GO, MY BULLET BEES!" he screamed and the bees embedded themselves into Jason and Freddy. Jason having dealt with bees before was unfazed, but Freddy was caught up in bees. Jason ran for Candyman and swiped at his head, but Candyman ducked and did a leg sweep that floored Jason, who flipped back up with a roundhouse that caught Candyman on the jaw and sent him flying. Freddy looking on mused "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A JAWBREAKER! AAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHHA!"  
Candyman snapped his fingers and the ground beneath Jason turned into a pit of honey, but meanwhile Freddy got away from the bees and he ran up and slashed at Candyman who deflected his hand with his hook hand. The two parried and thrusted like Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny, it was an epic battle to never be forgotten.  
Candyman landed a blow by smacking Freddy right in his ugly mug, and it looked like Candyman had gotten the upper hand.

Suddenly Jason rocketed out of the pit of honey and landed right on top of Candyman, covering him in honey. Candyman shook off Jason but Freddy saw his chance, he turned into a swarm of bees, each one had Freddy's face, and they landed on Candyman and started eating him "OH DRAT NOT AGAIN!" was what Candyman's eyes said but his mouth said nothing because it was filled with honey and bees. Jason looked on confused as the bees disperesed, because Candyman was nowhere to be found. The bees swarmed together and reformed as Freddy. "BURP!" Freddy said, "I HOPE I DON'T GET CAVITIES! AHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH!

I LOVE CANDY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

GLAD YOU COULD INDULGE MY SWEET TOOTH! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

THE CANDYMAN CAN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" and then he grew greatly in power, because now he'd eaten Candyman and gotten his power.

"Well at least the trip here wasn't a total waste" he said to himself then turned to Jason. "Listen Jason I don't see any need for us to fight any more but let's have a friendly competition." he said "out in the real world that girl we saw is in the house we're going to go to so let's see who can kill her first and whoever kills her first has to wear a dress for a week." Freddy and Jason shook on it and followed Amanda into the terribly real world so terribly real for her! 


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7  
THE SONG OF THE FRANKENSTEINS

Amanda raced through the house clutching her skeleton key even as Freddy and Jason burst through the portal screaming horribly for Amanda's hot hot blood and body.  
She trampled her way to the locked door that lead to the Frankenstein Making Machine.  
"The Frankenstein Maker would take care of Jason but I wasn't expecting Freddy Krueger too!" she thought as she stuck the Skeleton Key into the doorhole. With a CLACKITY CLACK CREEEEAK it opened and she peered inside.

The lab was dusty with dust all over everything and weird stuff in jars.  
She moves in slowly and grasps the edge of a sheet covering a weird scientific thing, pulling it off she discovers the machine that she must use to prepare Frankensteins.  
She pushes the button on the machine WHIIRIIRRIRIRIIRIRIRIRRRR it goes and then everything in the lab lights up. She is surrounded by mounds of sheets laying on slabs, the dead bodies that Papa Justify was using in his horrible experiments. 

WAIT!  
THOSE ARE NOT DEAD BODYS!

Slowly in unison each mound rises up and the sheet falls off, revealing A HORRIBLE FRANKENSTEIN beneath!

Amanda screamed as the Frankensteins got up. They were all stiched together with thread and twine--a Frankenstein rose up to her and began to growl as his skin shivered because it wasn't connected to his bones. Multicolored and mottled with different square patches lodged haphazardly all over his body, the Frankenstein looked like a walking AIDS quilt!

Now Amanda knew that Frankensteins were the surliest monsters of all, so she decided to be careful.  
"Good evening, sir." she said to the head Frankenstein  
the Frankensteins let out a terrible screech and screamed in an insane expression of the eternal agony to which they were forever addicted. I mean there made of dead bodies right that must suck!

"WHY DID YOU WAKE US!" the head Frankenstein said "WE HATE BEING ALIVE. NOW WE WILL KILL YOU AND GO BACK TO SLEEP." Clearly the reputations Frankensteins have for being surly is not an exaggeration! Amanda thought as the Frankensteins drove themselves into a rage.

The Frankensteins were uncontrollable. They were punching blindly to their left and right, ripping hunks of flesh off of their brother Frankensteins.  
One Frankenstein was so surly that he punched another Frankenstein in the jaw and tore it straight off. Then another one picked up a fetus in a jar and smashed the jar over his head. Another Frankenstein picked up a vat of acid and held it over his head so that it all poured out over him while he screamed a terrible battle cry even as his flesh and bones dissolved into nothing.

A Frankenstein on fire ran around screaming his head off and hollering to wake the dead. Another Frankenstein clotheslined him with his arm, then stomped his face to bits with his big powerful foot. One of the Frankensteins was screaming and pissing all over another Frankenstein who had his ghoulish mouth open to catch the urine stream. Another Frankenstein was clobbering himself in the neck, sending out jets of blood. The blood hit another Frankenstein in the eye, who responded by smashing the offender's genitalia into his chest cavity.

Still another Frankenstein was trying to chew off his own arm, and one of his brothers helped him finish the job by slicing it off with a carving knife. Then he castrated himself and ran around howling inarticulate and bestial sounds as a fountain of blood erupted from his crotch. One Frankenstein grabbed hold to both of the bolts in his neck and ripped them out at once, decapitating himself. Amanda saw another Frankenstein rip open his own stomach, tear out the intestines, and squeeze them until all the shit ruptured out of it. He grabbed handfuls of his own shit and smeared it into his eyes.

"FRANKENSTEINS ARE CRAZY!" she said out loud. At the end, only one Frankenstein was left standing, the head Frankenstein. Amanda cowered in fear as he advanced on her. He raised his arms to pulverise her head when suddenly the Skeleton Key began to glow.

"FRANKENSTEIN." a voice came from the Skeleton Key.  
"FATHER?!" the Frankenstein said.  
"Frankenstein I made you to be a terrible monster, please forgive me, but now do what I say for I am your master. I AM PAPA JUSTIFY."  
Amanda was shocked, he was still alive in the key!  
"Frankenstein!" the Skeleton Key said "I can promise you the rest you desire if you help this hot girl because if you help her, you're helping me."  
The Frankenstein got a look of determination on his face and he took up the key. His body was covered in a white light and when he reappeared, he was covered in strong battle armor inscribed with Hoo Doo sigils and magic squares.

And not a moment too soon, for when Amanda looked up toward the doorway--

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" said Freddy Krueger solemnly "OUR LITTLE GAME IS AT AN END. JASON, LET'S KILL THIS BIG LUG AND THEN GET THE GIRL." 


	8. Chapter 8

FINAL CHAPTER  
FREDDY VERSUS JASON VERSUS THE SKELETON KEY

The battle-armor Frankenstein roared with his terrifying mouth and raised his arm which turned into a rocket launcher. He shot the rocket at Freddy and Jason--KABOOM!--the rocket exploded and destroyed the wall behind where they were. But where had Jason and Freddy gone? They were rushing to his flanks and the Mecharider Cyber Frankenstein was caught unawares. Freddy laughed triumphantly as he plunged his wolverine claw into the Frankenstein's cyberonic breastplate, and Jason at the same time sliced into a Hoo Doo sigil engraved on his body.  
The Frankenstein laughed triumphantly and Papa Justify's voice erupted from deep within the robotic frame.

"YOU FOOLS!" he cried "NOW YOU ARE BOTH MINE!" and the Hoo Doo sigils began to glow and shot out light that enveloped Freddy and Jason. Jason heard a voice deep within his hockey mask, the voice of his headless mother "JASON!" she cried "IT IS YOUR DESTINY TO DESTROY FREDDY KREUGER. FOR THIS I HAVE MADE YOU. NOW LISTEN TO ME, I AM YOUR MOTHER!" and then his brains got all scrambled up inside him cause he believed in HooDoo and the only way you can get HooDoo to work is if you use it on somebody who believes in it.

With Freddy Krueger Papa Justify had less luck, because even though he believed in HooDoo, he was too strong in its power to be deluded by Papa Justify's illusions! "FOOLISH SKELETON KEY!" Freddy Krueger screaming, "I HAVE THE POWER OF CANDYMAN NOW, DID YOU FORGET THAT?! I HOPE YOU LIKE "BEE" VITAMINS AAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH!" and with that Freddy Krueger rose from the air in a cloud of bees and the bees surrounded him surrounded by an aura of red light that surrounded his body as he rose in the air with bees all around him. The bees went up to his shoulders and formed what looked like dense black shadowy wings, but really it was a cloud of bees.

Freddy Krueger extended his gloved hand and pointed at the Battle Frankenstein in his Magitech Armor as though to say "Come on." like Morpheus in the Matrix, when he's fighting Neo and he beats him up and Neo is like "why can't I win" and Morpheus is all "you think that's air you're breathing?" The Frankenstein howled in anger and his eyes turned into sluts as he eyed down Dark Angel of Blood Freddy Krueger. Crackles of magical power swarmed around Freddy Krueger as Frankenstein took out his laser sword and ignited it with an awesome "SHEEEENG!" 

Frankenstein rushed at Freddy Krueger and jumped into the air, but Freddy Krueger deflected him with a magical barrier. "FOOL!" he cried triumphantly. "DO YOU NOT SEE NOW PAPA JUSTIFY THAT MY POWER HAS EXCEEDED EVEN YOURS? I SHALL BECOME GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he said and then dove at the Frankenstein with his bee-wings outstretched, and surrounded the Frankenstein in bees even as he drove his hand into the Frankenstein's head unit. The head unit exploded in a huge explosion that sent Freddy Krueger flying and blasted him against the wall. "ARRRRGH!" Freddy said.  
The Frankenstein cocked its head and picked up the remains of its broken MechArmor head unit, and cast it aside. Again he ignited his laser sword and rushed at Freddy Krueger. Freddy used the power of Candyman to make his glove into a five fingered laser claw and he rushed also at Frankenstein.

Frankenstein swung his sword at Freddy's head. Freddy ducked and slashed at Frankenstein's stomach, but Frankensteins are equally surly and nimble, and so he sucked in his gut to avoid it and then headbutted Freddy. "AUGH!" Freddy said, and slashed at the armored arms of the Frankenstein's arm which resulted in a shower of sparks and wiring coming out of where he hit him. Frankenstein sweeped his legs and caught Freddy's legs with his legs, bringing him to the ground, then activated the jetpack mounted on his MagiMecha and rocketed up into the heights of the secret laboratory. Freddy too rose into the air and crossed his hands in a show of confidence and menace.

The two aerial warriors flew at each other and slashed at the same time, but Freddy came out the winner of that particular contest! His laser glove hand sheared off Frankenstein's jetpack and Frankenstein went rocketing into the Frankenstein making machine. The Frankenstein making machine exploded and short circuited the battle armor. Freddy grinned at his success.

Freddy once again dove down to the ground to deliver the coup de grace to the incapacitated Warmech, and he flew through the air with the force of a sonic boom, when SHANG! what's that!  
His gloved hand had been stopped. IT WAS JASON VORHEES. And from beneath his bloodstained hockey mask he now knew who his enemy was. Jason Voorhees summoned all the innate power of HooDoo from the place and channeled it into his machete. Once again he spoke as he summoned forth a great magical attack.

"MURDEROUS BLOSSOMS OF THE PREENING NIGHT! JUDGMENT OF THE LOTUS!" he cried out and an alchemical sign appeared in transparent white around him. Freddy Krueger was blinded by the light of his magic and shielded his eyes. "GO, MY BEES! HONEYSUCKLE DARKNESS OF THE CANDYMAN! THE PREGNANT NIGHT DRIPPING BLOOD!" and he launched a powerful attack of darkness. Jason Voorhees' magic and Freddy Krueger's magic met together and they held the two beams of magic straining together against each other. Freddy and Jason both dug their feet into the floorboards of the lab which buckled and finally were pulverised when the magical equivalency could no longer hold, and the two magics exploded and surrounded the entire room in a burning light, destroying the entire lab and opening the scene to the air.

Jason Voorhees raised his arms and the entire secret lab rose into the air, it was now a floating island on which the three HooDoo masters would do battle, and only one would emerge victorious, but who no man could say.

The Battle Frankenstein meanwhile had rebooted its systems and the mystical power of Papa Justify was once again coursing through its wires. Frankenstein ejected two razor sharp blades that were attached to his arms and dove into battle.

IT WAS A SCENE OF CHAOS.

Freddy Krueger stabbed Jason Voorhees in his guts and ripped out his intestines, but due to his lizard-like Nature, Jason regrew all of his stuff. Now Jason was following the orders of his mother who made him to kill Freddy, not Papa Justify and certainly not some fuckin Frankenstein, so when he saw Frankenstein running at him to kill Freddy, he took his machete and smashed it against Frankenstein's pate. Frankenstein's skull was too strong to be hurt by Jason's machete and so the undead beast responded by ripping off Jason's mask, revealing the ugliness beneath. "DAMN YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE A PLASTIC SURGEON" Freddy quipped, and then added "HERE, I'LL DO IT FREE OF CHARGE, AAAAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!" and he sliced off Jason's nose. Jason was mad because of this, so he took his machete and brutalized Freddy's neck with it, but Freddy was immortal and so he was able to reconstitute himself. The Frankenstein rushed at Freddy and sliced his legs off with its razor sharp arm blades. Freddy summoned the Candyman's power to create a vortex of honey and brought Frankenstein to the ground. Once again before he was able to finish off the magic knight, Jason intervened by kicking Freddy right in his balls. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!" Freddy said, cross-eyed. The Frankenstein, as a fine thanks, kicked Jason into Freddy and they both fell down. Frankenstein ignited his laser sword and then ran both Jason and Freddy through.

Freddy erupted in a shockwave of darkness that forced both of the other monsters off of him and again rose in the air surrounded by his bees as Jason and the Frankenstein once again rose to their feet and readied their weapons.

Amanda, looking on at all of this cried out in dismay "This is pointless, this fight will never end! Unless..." and she took up a book of HooDoo magic and grabbed a piece of chalk.

Freddy swiped off the Frankenstein's left arm and Jason punched a hole straight through Freddy's chest so that you could see the daylight coming straight through his green and red christmas sweater. Freddy pulled his hat out of nowhere and threw it at Jason Voorhees. The hat had a razor edge and it sliced into Jason's ribcage and stuck there. "HEY! I NEED THAT BACK!" cried Freddy and he leapt into Jason with his wolverine claw extended, viciously stabbing into his body. The Frankenstein's remaining arm turned into a plasma cannon and he blasted Freddy mercilessly with it until Jason got up and smacked him in the face with his machete.

Meanwhile Amanda had been drawing a huge circle. She got a container of brick dust and threw it around herself, then drew a hoo doo circle of protection around herself.

Freddy cried out "ENOUGH! IT'S TIME TO END THIS!" and he punched his gloved hand straight through the MechaMachine of the Frankenstein's chest and out the other side. Jason at the same time stabbed Freddy all the way through with his machete, and when Freddy stabbed the Frankenstein, its laser sword ignited and drove itself straight through Jason Voorhees' stomach. Each of the warriors tried to remove itself from the other's weapon but could not.  
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" came Papa Justify's voice from within the Frankenstein System.  
"WHO IS DOING THIS!" cried Freddy Krueger. Jason said nothing.

"It's me!" Amanda yelled "And I've had enough of this shit!"

"Watch your mouth dearie," Freddy said "OR PAPA'S GONNA WASH IT OUT WITH SOAP!" and in his free hand he manifested a bar of soap made of acid. He threw it at Amanda but it dissipated in the HooDoo barrier. Freddy was aghast.

"I've caught you all in a HooDoo barrier." Amanda said "And now I'm going to use a powerful spell to exorcise you--to exorcise all of you."

And saying this she began to chant the words written in the book of HooDoo that she found in the ruined lab.  
Freddy howled in agony, and the Frankenstein's systems shut down and exploded, catching Freddy, Jason, and the corpse of the Frankenstein on fire. They all stood there as a dome of white light covered the barrier and a rumbling sound deafened Amanda's ears. She couldn't keep her eyes open to see what happened but she thought she heard someone yell "THIS ISN'T OVER BITCH! I'LL SEE YOU IN YOUR DREAMS!" when she opened her eyes no one was there. Freddy, Jason, the Frankenstein, they were all gone. But there, at her feet, was the Skeleton Key.  
She picked it up.

Suddenly she became aware of an even more pressing problem--! THE FLOATING ISLAND OF BATTLE WAS FALLING BACK TO EARTH! as the Island whistled through the air, collapsing and leaving a trail of debris, Amanda despaired for her life.  
A voice then came from the Skeleton Key. "Amanda."  
"Papa Justify!"  
"You believe in HooDoo, don't you, Amanda?"  
"I do now!"  
"THEN SAY THESE WORDS AND YOU WILL BE SAVED!" and he told her the words.

---

A young woman walked out of the crash site with only scrapes and bruises. She could give no details as to what had happened to her, and she quickly disappeared.

As Papa Justify walked away from the reporters and the police in his new body, he mused to himself "Usually there's more preparation involved, but at least I still live on. I've always wondered what it's like to be a woman, and now I'll find out." then he smiled..  
YOU SEE, DEAR READER, like Kate Hudson, Amanda was deceived. It was not a circle of protection, it was a circle of transmutation! And the words Papa Justify told her were the words to switch bodies. And now Amanda lay trapped forever in the key, screaming silently. Papa Justify walked on, thinking wistfully of his lost wife but looking forward to the future with a bright heart.

THE END


End file.
